Perspective

I have expected to feel like a different person at certain points in my life. When I graduated from high school. When I got married. When I turned whatever age. And it's never happened. I reached the other side of graduation and being married and felt like the same dumb kid trying to figure it out without letting everybody know I was clueless that I always have. At times, I felt a little cheated because of it. Like, "I'm 20-whatever now, I should feel like a grown up!".

And then I had my little girl. And everything changed.

I've experienced a dramatic and very sudden change in perspective, it's amazing. Much of it is hard to put into words, but something in me knew as soon as I gave birth that I was this tiny creature's mama and no one else was. I was going to take care of her, protect her, feed her, be responsible for her in every way. And I am completely in awe of it all. I really do feel like a different person.

I'm watching the Olympics, taking in brilliant displays by people whose goals have been far beyond what I could accomplish. And yet, I'm completely happy about it. I'm ok with my goals being things like taking a shower that day or making it to the grocery store. I put the baby in a stroller and walked a mile with the dogs yesterday and I was really proud of myself. Gradually as I figure out more and more how to care for a baby I plan to raise the bar a bit as far as my goals and dreams are concerned, but for now, I'm totally happy with my dream being a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of chocolate milk, and having the baby asleep long enough for me to enjoy it.

Life is pretty wonderful.